


Only Better.

by Caspian_Faurus



Category: Metal Gear, Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain - Fandom
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, The Phantom Pain, two broken men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-21
Updated: 2018-08-21
Packaged: 2019-06-30 16:04:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15755103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caspian_Faurus/pseuds/Caspian_Faurus
Summary: Kazuhira Miller. A man with an aching, shattered heart, and an aura that reeks of spite and blind anger.Clinging to the shadow of a man he ended up declaring his fealty to, throwing everything aside for his cause.How very broken he is.And the only person he can now place his trust in is a crude facsimile.Does the stoic Phantom - a man dedicated to accomplishing the mission Big Boss couldn't - feel the same way? Would he give his own heart out to a soul brought much early to the edge of the abyss of life?Spoilers for Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain.





	1. In the Mind of Miller

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even something as simple as gazing upon the sunset hurts.
> 
> Kaz's heart aches. Everything he lost... he cannot get over it even now.  
> Knowing his old best friend had left him far behind and had never tried to come back to him... that truth helped even less.
> 
> Solitude breaks even the hardest of hearts.  
> It breaks his, as he stands upon the metal walkway of Diamond Dogs' Mother Base.
> 
> Fortunately for him, he is not alone.
> 
> >Kazuhira's Viewpoint<

### In the Mind of Miller.

Kazuhira Miller stood staring at the sun lower in the horizon, just some way away from the sea. He was lost in deep thought, unable to stop himself from retrospecting over all that had happened.

So the real Big Boss was somewhere else, huh? Hidden away thoroughly in some corner of the world? All this time... he had been reunited with only his shadow? And the man he had worshipped, close to loved, hadn't even bothered to look back?

He frustratedly tapped the steel platform with his cane, and squeezed his eyes shut behind his aviators, gulping back sudden tears. He was supposed to be far above any emotion other than rage.

It just stung so much to be half a man, both physically and at heart. There was such a huge part missing, and the absence was felt every waking second.

The phantom pain.

After some minutes of deep breathing, Kaz was back to normal. He tried to turn his mind to other things. His conglomerate...? No, it felt too awkward to think about it at this peaceful moment. Thinking about Ocelot just made him crosser, and right now he was in no mood to stew in anger. Diamond Dogs... hard to think about it, now that he was taking a short break.

Venom Snake.

He was such a busy man... completely blind in his ambition to fulfill Big Boss's will. The dedication was tremendous.  
Even more than the true "messiah".

Kaz couldn't help but smile slightly and chuckle.

He quickly looked around to check if anyone had heard. This unconquerable vulnerability that had come over him, could never, ever be exposed to anyone. No more, could he trust someone with his crumbled heart.

The coast was clear though, thankfully.

He turned his attention back at the sunset. Still quite some time until dusk. His thougts instantly slipped back to the Phantom, to his own surprise.

**~~~~~~~~~~**

Repressed feelings... well, not a first.  
It was unfortunate. But Kaz was tired of denying it to himself. He knew... he still felt for Big Boss. No matter how much he loathed him, at the same time.

Those days, in MSF... they were priceless.

And the man with who he worked now, was no less than the real deal. In fact, he was only better.  
The same, but more merciful and rational. Less bloodthirsty.

Boss would have had Huey Emmerich killed. Venom used his head, and came up with a worse punishment: life.  
Boss would never have shown even the closest of emotion Venom did towards the child soldiers. He wouldn't have cared if Eli had died by his gun.  
Venom saw that woman Quiet beyond her capabilities. He decided to keep her by his side, despite knowing who she was; nothing short of a threat.

"Mmhh..."

Suddenly, Kaz snapped out of it, and clanged his cane against the railing in front of him. It was all happening again. Just a few moments ago he'd been determined to be completely steel-hearted. And now, he was lost in a lover's haze, almost.

But, it was undeniable...!

Kaz began grumbling, as he stamped his only foot.

Goodness, he was making quite the clatter on the steel walkway.  
But he was beyond caring.

**~~~~~~~~~~**

Kaz looked down once he was calmer, watching the scant soldiers pass as they went inside for the coming night.  
It still wasn't dusk, though. The sun burnt a flaming orange. Not red yet.

He looked up once more at the still ocean waters.

It still stumped him. So much had changed. Back then, he had done the same, but when everything was so different.

He didn't know how he felt now.  
Suddenly, he was drained even of his anger. More than his previous moment of vulnerability. He felt... grief. Pure sadness.

Tears were once more creeping into his damaged eyes. But this time, they easily overcame his resistance to stop them from flowing out.

His gaze shifted to his missing right arm. Then, down to his missing leg. Finally, to the cane he leaned on.

Things truly had changed since then.

He held his head up high, simply past stopping to let his tears slip down his hard, wrinkling cheeks.  
He lost himself in remembering... the good old days.

He didn't even realize when a hand placed itself on his covered left shoulder.

**~~~~~~~~~~**

Kaz was starting to tremble as he remembered his old comrades. The lump grew and grew in his throat, his face getting more damp as each tear slid out from his eyes. His weeping was silent, however. His lips were pressed shut.

The unbearable grief was showing no signs of lessening despite his efforts of venting. Not that he thought it could ever disappear.  
It would stay on. That huge hole in his heart, his soul, his conscience.  
His very existence.  


"Boss..." he shakily whispered to himself.  
"Kaz."

The hand on his shoulder squeezed its grip.

Kazuhira nearly jumped from complete shock. It took him many seconds to come out of his zone of mourning.  
Who had just spoken...?

He slowly turned to look to his left.  
For a second, the watery eyes behind the dark glasses couldn't fully register the person's features.

"I-Is that you, Boss...?" he pitifully spoke out. He felt so, so weak; having lost all traces of his anger and hatred for now.

He caught the simple nod of the person who kept gripping his shoulder. Still only a blurry silhouette.  
Kaz bowed his head and stepped clumsily towards his companion. His entire crippled body was bent, as if carrying a very heavy burden.

His knees shook dangerously.

"Easy, now."

Kaz now had hands gripping both his shoulders, as he faced "Boss". The one on his right felt a little... heavier to the feel. He didn't pay it much heed.

"Wh-Where were you, Boss..." Kazuhira mumbled through his unstoppable tears.  
He was expecting... that answer. He hoped with all his might.  
Those words. The magic words.  


"Kept you waiting, huh?"

Kaz snapped his head up, his tears drying immediately. He faced the person who held his shoulders gently, and only met his clear blue eye.

So much like him. Only, better.

The two men couldn't stop themselves from meeting in a tight embrace.

**~~~~~~~~~~**


	2. Through the Demon's Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> V has returned.
> 
> To his utmost surprise, he spots Miller up on the walkway, seemingly antagonized.  
> It was rare that he saw his partner all by himself.
> 
> He must know what the matter is. It hurts to see him this way.
> 
> He wastes little time.
> 
> >Venom's Viewpoint<

### Through the Demon's Eyes.

Venom hopped out of the chopper, D Dog following behind him. He looked up at the sky; just time for sunset. The mission today had lasted a little longer than expected.

"Damn sheep..." he muttered, and let out a tiny chuckle.

D Dog immediately ran off into Mother Base, happily barking. Venom instead chose to stay outside.

He walked to the edge of the platform and admired the sunset instead.  
Not a very "hardcore" thing to do... but he didn't care at the moment.

He let himself slip into his thoughts.

So... Big Boss had tasked him with creating Outer Heaven. This innocent medic now had the humongous responsibility of living up to the title.  
No, wait. He WAS Big Boss.  
He raised his bionic arm and stared at it. He was no longer his own man. Not even his memories were his own.

This wasn't a good thought. Venom pushed it aside.

Suddenly, he heard loud clanking behind and above him. He turned his head to the right and looked up with the corner of his eye to the walkways.

"Miller." he mumbled.  
Man of few words, indeed.

He saw how distressed his comrade looked. But, this was looking different from his usual fits of rage.

Venom had to find out. No way he was letting his right hand man stay this way.  
He moved swiftly, determined not to be spotted.

**~~~~~~~~~~**

He quietly tiptoed up the steel steps to the walkway where Kaz was standing, and peeked from the corner of the wall.  
Perks of being among the masters of stealth; Kaz never realized.

He could see that Kaz had calmed down since he last saw him. But... he could spot the trembling.

He listened closely, and heard very faint, gruff sniffles.

Was Kaz.. crying?

Venom would've come over immediately. But... maybe Kaz needed some space at the moment.  
He decided to observe just a bit more, and hint. Why was he being this way?

It wasn't that hard to guess. He was reminiscing.

MSF.  
The good old days.

He saw Kaz look down at his missing limbs, and felt a sharp pain in his heart.  
Poor man. So driven with rage... a lust for revenge.

Felt like it was only yesterday when he had rescued the damaged man. So very, very broken.  
A lump grew in Venom's throat. A lump that always appeared when he thought about Miller.

He very clearly had loved Big Boss. Obviously, Venom knew how much, having exactly Boss's memories.  
Maybe that wasn't so bad, unlike what he was thinking earlier.

Kaz's shaking was growing more visible. He was looking at the ocean again.

Enough... it was getting unbearable to simply stand by and watch.

**~~~~~~~~~~**

Venom took some inaudible steps towards his collea- no, friend, and rested his human hand on his shoulder lightly.  
Not surprisingly, Kaz was too lost in grieving to realize.

The weeping was growing worse. It would touch anyone's heart to see such a rage-fueled man to let down his facade this way.

It was touching Venom's, too.

"Boss..." Kaz was whispering under his shaky breath.

The silent spectator knew who he actually meant this time.  
He squeezed Miller's shoulder gently.

"Kaz." Venom spoke out, a tone warmer than ever.

As expected, Kaz was extremely startled. He turned his head slowly and looked at Venom.

"I-Is that you, Boss...?" Kaz's tone was overflowing with sadness.  
Venom only nodded.

Miller turned his whole body toward him this time, and tried to step towards him. His whole form was bent and shaking hard.

Venom quickly placed his bionic hand on his comrade's other shoulder as well to steady him. "Easy, now."

"Wh-Where were you, Boss..."  
It was obvious he was thinking that Venom was actually Big Boss.  
Venom inaudibly gulped in a sudden need to cry. Quite an unusual emotion... too unusual.

He decided not to break Miller's hopes. He knew what he wanted to hear...

"Kept you waiting, huh?"  
Bang on. Kaz instantly looked up at him. Venom couldn't see his eyes, but his sharp senses could tell there was a gaze meeting his own.

He didn't know if Miller had realized who he was really talking to, though.

The urge was irresistible.  
He pulled the grieving man into a tight hug.  
Of course, he felt Kaz wrap his only arm tightly around him.

**~~~~~~~~~~  
_Finis_**


End file.
